Cleanser
200ml
Toner
SPF 50
Retinol
Moist.
Serum
Brutally Honest Beauty Advice

The skincare talk
nobody else will
have with you

Tell us your routine. We'll read the ingredients, call out the overpriced, and find you something better — usually for under €10.

Roast My Routine
free. no signup. just honesty.

Just talk to us. Really.

Pick a starting point — or just describe what you do. No forms, no ingredient lists. Just you, in your own words.

☀️
"Here's what I put on my face every morning"
→ skincare routine
💇
"Let me tell you about my hair routine"
→ hair care
🪒
"This is how I deal with body hair"
→ hair removal
🍳
"Here's what I eat on a typical day"
→ food & skin
🛁
"Here's my full self-care Sunday"
→ full routine audit
swipe for more →
1

Share your routine

Talk about your actual habits — products, timing, whatever comes to mind.

2

Get roasted

Ingredient-level honesty. We flag what's great, what's pointless, and what's overpriced.

3

Get better options

Alternatives that actually work — usually from dm or Rossmann, usually under €10.

A real roast looks like this

We roast the product, never you. And every burn comes with a better option.

mineral oil!! for €180!! absolutely not 🙃
same algae extract, 1/50th the price ✓
CeraVe can stay. it earned it.
mineral oil!! for €180!! absolutely not 🙃
same algae extract, 1/50th the price ✓
CeraVe can stay. it earned it.
You
I use the CeraVe foaming cleanser, then The Ordinary Niacinamide, and La Mer moisturizer. Morning and night.
RMR
CeraVe cleanser — solid, keep it. The Ordinary Niacinamide — great ingredient, great price, no notes.

But La Mer? Oh honey. You're paying €180 for glorified Nivea with seaweed marketing. The hero ingredient is mineral oil. Literal mineral oil. The "Miracle Broth" is algae extract you can find in a €4 Balea product.
Drop this
La Mer Crème de la Mer
€180 / 30ml
Try this
Balea Aqua Moisture
€3.45 / 50ml
💰 Routine savings: ~€176/month — and your skin will actually be better.

No sponsors. No ads.
Just ingredients.

🧪 Science, not vibes

Every recommendation is based on ingredient analysis — not brand reputation, packaging, or influencer endorsements.

^ this is the whole point

💰 Affiliate links, not affiliate opinions

Some product links earn us a small commission. Our recommendations never change because of it. We'll always tell you the best option — even when we earn nothing from it.

✅ Honest when things are fine

Not everything gets roasted. If your product is solid, we'll tell you. No drama for drama's sake.

we don't roast to roast!

⚕️ Smart, not medical

Better than your Instagram feed, less qualified than your dermatologist. We know our lane.

Go on. Show us
what's in your shower.

Free. Honest. Occasionally devastating.

your bathroom shelf will thank you ♡
Roast My Routine